Heartbreak, calories and sleep deprivation - my 7 weeks in Davos…

Never slept less, never gained so much weight so quickly. 7kg or over 15 pounds in 7 weeks. Heartbreak was unfortunately common for me back then. But let’s start with the basics.

My day at the bakery looked like this: Getting up at 4am, walking down the stairs, 3 steps outside, entering the baker’s shop and starting work at 4:30. At that time all the bread loafs and breakfast buns were ready to box up for all the hotel breakfast buffets. At 6:30 we ate breakfast ourselves. It was more like brunch, every day… with butter and ham and cheese and jam and LOADS of fresh bread.

Then the pastry shop goods came into focus. We made everything from scratch and it was a blast to learn sooo much. Every broken piece of puff paste with a filling, everything which fell on the floor or the first cut was released for getting eaten by the employees. Well the others didn’t eat anything anymore… (I think after 7 weeks I would have been there…but then I went back to university ; )) so basically everything was MINE… and I enjoyed it very, very much. Then I had lunch at the café/restaurant of the bakery. I could choose from french fries, spring rolls, chicken nuggets or a combination of these fried goodies. Then I went to sleep. Then I went to have some fried dinner, then I went to have some beers in our favorite bar 0815 which was super close until I went to bed at 10, 11 the latest to get up at 4 again. When I look back now as a veggie-loving old lady I’m raising my eyebrows and asking my 20 year old self: You ok? Where are your vitamins and fibers, girl!? : ) : ) : ) I wouldn’t have listened anyway.

Nevertheless when I imagined my winter-break doing that mandatory 7 week internship in the ski resort I was seeing myself snowboarding every afternoon when I finished work. I was so sporty and fit in my mind… : ) in reality I was too tired to go on the slopes most of the days but I felt amazing and had so much fun, so what is more important here? ; )

Friday to Saturday I didn’t go to bed, instead straight to work from the club. No sleep but a happy heart. I felt wild and free and I was in love… Well I had a crush on the most good looking guy, the most amazing snowboarder (people were gasping when he curved down the piste with his raceboard and I was so proud that I was “WITH HIM”) a local guy who also studied in Zurich… I was desperately looking for a boyfriend for years and I really thought that this time it’ll work out.

First I have to tell you that I had a pager! You know that thing where you could communicate with number-codes? It was a special offer for students and a little booklet was attached to give you ideas for codes. This was THE real big deal in 1998!

I did my scrapbooking every day and it’s so cool to look at these collages. What amazes me is that most of the names I wrote down I can’t remember at all. It’s like the memory of a movie I saw a long time ago. The main acts were my crush, his gang and my university friend and her siblings and daddy. The other ones I forgot about. The mean guy was my boss. He was cursing and bossing around the apprentices and employees with derogatory language. Wow, I was amazed that this was even possible. He was about two heads shorter than me and I was studying at the famous national technical university… somehow he was always polite to me. That amazed me even more. How can a human being be so mean to his staff and treat me kind of well?

I asked the bakery people how they can handle this harshness. They said: No worries, we just don’t listen. One lady who was only a little older than me told me that this is normal in bakeries and kitchens. She said all of her apprentice time she was so scared about her boss. This here is moderate, she said. Oookeeey, I’m learning a lot here! And I promised to myself that I will create work spaces where my employees feel safe, feel appreciated and can speak up and tell me if they don’t like something. I was too afraid of speaking up against him as an intern on behalf of his staff… 

One scene I wrote into my scrapbook was when we made fancy pralines. He told us to shut up, he has to say something. And then he started a sermon about how HE would be treated like a king in heaven because he baked “the daily bread” of the people. God will have a special pedestal ready for him… he rambled on and on about his greatness. Wooooow… did I say I learned a lot, not only about bread but mainly about the range of people on this planet.

All the tasks the first grade apprentice didn’t like were my job within the 7 weeks. He was whining when I left as these shitty todos were all his again… ; )  A daily task was: Grate these 10 big boxes of walnuts. I had to scoop them with a little shovel into a grater pull down a handle really hard until they went through…scoop by scoop. I did this task for hours and my muscles on my forearms grew daily. 

When I went rock climbing for the first time in my life during the mountain time, it was sooo easy. The older (very very cool) brother of my friend was out of his mind about my “talent”. I was grinning ear to ear about his compliments and told him: I’m training these pulling moves every day… so thank you sweet walnut-pie for the workout.

On one of the last Saturdays of these 7 weeks at 4 in the morning my crush walked me to the bakery and we shared a kiss. A REAL KISS ladies and gentlemen!!! And then he said: “But just so you know, I don’t want a relationship even though I don’t find you ugly.” Excuse me? How did you choose your words exactly? Another devastating heartbreak of Ronja Anna Barbara Müller who never said directly what SHE wanted. Who waited until he made a move. Who hoped that this was IT…. This was my last heartbreak. I swore to God that I don’t ever need a man again and that I’ll stay single all my life! You know how this worked out : ) but it felt good and something BIG shifted in my energy. I transformed from passive to active. I switched from “who will choose me?” to “I choose ME, period”.

Since February 1999 I learned so much about relationships, about communication in relationships and about mindset in relationships. I have a lot to say : ) to my 20 year old insecure self and I have a lot to share with you, if you are interested in improving your relationships.

The cart for my relationship-communication course is not yet open to the public, so if you’ve read this far and you see this before January 24, you have the great chance to book the exclusive LIVE-round of this 6 week course-experience for $300 less. Click here to book it right away. You have access as long as the internet exists and future updates are included too. This price will never be available again… sooo are you in? Click here to check it out.

Anyway, I went back to Zurich after these 7 weeks, the heartbreak faded with the new found confidence of choosing me and not needing anybody else to complete me and during our annual exams where we got tested on EVERYTHING we’ve learned during the first year I lost all my weight because I was too nervous to eat.

Moral of the story? Everything - even the most terrible heartbreak - passes, weight can come and go : ), I am worthy of someone who truly loves me how I am AND I don’t need anybody to make me happy.

It’s so interesting to look back from the place I’m at now and yet the me 26 years ago and the me now are both… ME.

Do you ever look back in astonishment at how your life has changed? What you’ve accomplished? What you’ve learned? I invite you to do some journaling about that today because you deserve these moments of awe about yourself!

If you’re still struggling with relationships (or want to be relationships) nowadays and finally want to change that, check out my brand new relationship course here. As you’re one of my trusty scrapbook readers (I’m so happy that you’re here and still reading!), you can book it for $300 off by clicking on this link here. Only valid until January 24!

Let’s make this world a better place by creating beautiful, thriving relationships which are filled with love, joy and clear peaceful communication!

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